


Rebel Rebel

by shinnyluvssuju



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-10-25 20:37:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20730407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinnyluvssuju/pseuds/shinnyluvssuju
Summary: After a chance meeting at the bus stop, Tommy develops a liking for Nikki. The feeling is mutual, but Nikki keeps his personal life a mystery. The more that’s revealed, the more complicated things get. Can they stay on this ride together, or will one of them jump ship?





	1. Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy so this is the first multi chapt fic I’ve written in a while. I’m excited to show this to you guys, because it’s an idea I’ve had for a long time. I can’t promise that the updates will be on a set schedule, but I will post new chapters as soon as I can. Enjoy!

Tommy ran to the bus stop to hide from the rain and light a cigarette. He reached shelter with relief, listening to the rain pound on the plastic roof. He lit a match and carefully brought it to his cigarette. He was so involved with his own mind and thoughts that he didn’t even notice that someone else was in the bus shelter. 

“Can I bum a smoke?” the person asked, and Tommy nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned around to see a guy sitting on the bench, wearing a black sweatshirt with the hood up covering most of his face. The rest was covered by long, soaking wet hair. Tommy could only really make out a pair of blue eyes. 

“Oh, sure,” Tommy said, handing the guy one. “Need a match?” 

“Yeah.” Tommy handed him the book of matches. The guy lit his cigarette and gave it back. “Thanks,” he said with a nod. 

“No problem.” Poor guy, Tommy thought. Caught out here in the rain. Tommy always gave to homeless people when he could, whether it be a dollar or a cigarette. He would’ve wanted someone to help him if he were in that situation. Besides, he believed in karma. Drunk and feeling talkative, Tommy decided to strike up some friendly conversation. “Where are you going?” 

The guy looked at him strangely for a second, as if this was the first time another human being had wanted to speak with him. “Uh, home.” 

“Oh,” Tommy said. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, how was your weekend and everything?” 

The guy started to laugh! He put down his hood and shook some of the wet hair out of his face. He looked barely older than Tommy, which was a surprise. “Why are you talking to me?” 

Tommy shrugged. “I dunno man, just trying to be polite. Whatever.” 

“You’re drunk,” the guy laughed. 

Tommy shrugged again. 

“How was your weekend?” the guy asked. 

“Hey, answer me first!” 

The guy rolled his eyes and sighed but still had a slight smile. “Fine, I guess, I worked a lot. Now your turn.” 

“What do you do?” Tommy asked. 

“One question only,” the guy said. “Anything more will cost you.” 

“You’re funny,” Tommy grinned. “Um, well, what did I do this weekend… I stayed with my buddy whose apartment is just a few blocks over. And we drank a lot.” 

“What a fascinating story.” 

“That remark was a bit rude and uncalled for.” 

“You don’t seem mad.” 

“Eh, I don’t get mad a whole lot.” 

The stranger smiled. “I wish I had that trait.” 

They sat there in silence for a while smoking, only the sounds of bustling Los Angeles nightlife and the rain filling the space. Tommy glanced at his watch. “When are you supposed to catch your bus?” 

Dread instantly possessed the guy’s face. “Oh no… what time is it?” 

“Three nineteen.” 

“Fuck,” he groaned. “It was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.” He put his hood back on and stood up. 

“What are you doing?” Tommy asked. 

“Walking home,” he answered, like it was obvious. 

“But it’s pouring!” Tommy exclaimed. 

“Yeah, don’t remind me. Thanks for the cigarette.” 

“Wait!” Tommy yelled as he started to walk away. “Let me drive you home!” 

The stranger whipped his head around to look back at Tommy. “What?” 

It took Tommy a minute to absorb the fact that yes, he really had just impulsively offered to drive a stranger home, but once he had he stuck to his guns. “Yeah, I’m parked in the lot right down the street. And I’m not that drunk anymore. I wouldn’t mind.” 

“Are you crazy? Why on earth would you drive me home?” 

“Because… you’re a person and it’s the nice thing to do?” 

“You don’t even know my name!” he protested. 

“Okay,” Tommy said. “I’m Tommy, what’s your name?” 

The guy stared at him completely bewildered. He contemplated what to do, and then decided as insane as this whole situation was, what did he have to lose? Worse that could happen was getting murdered or something, and he really wouldn’t have minded that to be honest. “...Nikki,” he said. 

“Now that we’re acquainted, let me just drive you home? You’re gonna get sick out there.” 

Nikki scoffed. “What are you, my grandma?” Tommy remained firm on his position, and Nikki sighed. “Alright. Sure. Thanks.” 

Tommy was relieved that he wouldn’t have to worry about Nikki all night now. He really would’ve felt so guilty, even though he technically had no responsibility to help him. Tommy was just like that. He smiled, told Nikki to follow him, and the two made their way to the parking lot. They were borderline running in an attempt to stay as dry as possible, but that proved futile. After a few minutes they finally made it to Tommy’s beat up Toyota and got in as fast as they could. 

“I don’t like to judge books by their covers,” Nikki said as he sat in the passenger seat catching his breath. “But from all the damage you got on this thing, should I trust you driving?” 

“Sure,” Tommy said. “Ninety percent of it wasn’t even my fault.” Nikki stared. “Okay, maybe eighty. Seventy at least.” 

“What, did you just get your license?” Nikki laughed. 

“No!” Tommy said defensively. “I got it--” He counted on his fingers. “--four years ago!” 

“Oh god, you’re young,” Nikki groaned, putting his forehead on the dashboard. 

“How would you know?” Tommy asked. 

Nikki sat back up. “If you got your license four years ago, let’s assume you got it when you were sixteen. That would make you only twenty, right?” 

Damn, Nikki was right. Tommy, however, wasn’t just gonna let it go. “How old are YOU? You can’t be more than a year or two older than me! Look at you!”

“I’m twenty-five,” Nikki said hopelessly. “I’m already going through a midlife crisis. One a day, it feels like.” 

“Oh come on, you’re being dramatic,” Tommy laughed. “That’s not too old. Now I know I can get you to buy me some booze as a thank you.” 

“Not likely. I’m banned from most liquor stores in the area.” 

Tommy’s eyes widened. “What?” 

“Don’t ask. Anyway, you’re gonna take a left out of here.” 

Don’t ask Nikki any questions, Tommy thought to himself, making a mental note. He simply followed Nikki’s instructions in silence while the radio played softly and Nikki smoked another one of Tommy’s cigarettes (this time just grabbing one from the pack in the cupholder without asking, but Tommy wasn’t really mad). 

Nikki told him they arrived when they pulled up to a dilapidated apartment building. “So uh,” Nikki said, suddenly sounding a bit meek. “I do really appreciate you driving me home…” 

“Hey, no problem,” Tommy smiled. “It wasn’t too far. No biggie.” 

“I can’t buy you beer but… I have some in my place, if you want one. As a thank you, you know, if you want.” 

Tommy was surprised at the offer and sudden kindness. He glanced at his watch, and it was almost four am. He was already out late, might as well go all the way with it. He didn’t have anything to do tomorrow. “Sure, if I’m not intruding or anything.” 

“Not at all,” Nikki said. “I’m tired, but one beer wouldn’t hurt.” He smiled. 

Tommy followed Nikki into the building, and after walking up four flights of stairs, they made it to his door. Nikki turned the key in the lock, but before he could even fully open the door, someone yelled, “Hey!”

Nikki rolled his eyes. “It’s me, asshole!” 

The person opened the door just a crack. “You said you weren’t bringing anyone over tonight, Nikki!”

“I’m not!” Nikki protested impatiently. “A friend of mine gave me a ride home so we’re just gonna have a drink. Then he’s leaving.” 

“Oh.” The person finally opened the door to let them in. It was a guy around Nikki’s age, and he must not have had any shame either. He was standing at the door in his underwear. Nikki didn’t seem to think this was unusual for some reason, so Tommy just tried his best to ignore it as he followed Nikki inside. 

“Is Kayla still gone?” Nikki asked as he opened the fridge. 

“Yeah. I’m sure she’s fine though.” As if the guy had just noticed that Tommy was there again, he reached out his hand. “I’m Aidan, wassup.” 

“Sup man,” Tommy said, shaking his hand while still feeling awkward about his lack of clothes. 

“Come on,” Nikki said, and Tommy followed him to his room. 

Nikki’s room was small, and the only furniture there was a bed, a small table, and a closet in the corner. The window was cracked and repaired with duct tape. The walls had some holes from something breaking the drywall, and there were cobwebs in the corners. Despite the shoddy room, Nikki seemed to make it his own. He had posters all over, mostly hung crooked. Tommy looked at them with excitement; New York Dolls, David Bowie, Alice Cooper, Kiss, The Stones, all the greats. Nikki had awesome taste. In one corner of the room there was a stack of records and a player. Tommy knew what conversation he should start to break the ice. 

“You like some sick bands, man,” Tommy said, still looking around the room. 

“Ah, thanks,” Nikki chuckled, seeming a little embarrassed. “Music’s kind of the only thing I’m into. Or can be into, at the moment.” 

“Do you play?’ 

“Bass is my main instrument, but I play guitar too sometimes.” 

“Really?” Tommy asked, excited. “Dude, are you in a band?’ 

Nikki started to laugh. “God, that would be the dream. Maybe someday.” He sat down on the bed and Tommy followed suit. They cracked open their beers and got comfortable. 

“Why someday?” Tommy asked. “You could join one now if you wanted to! I play drums, and I started a group with two of my friends.” 

“A drummer, huh?” Nikki asked, seemingly thinking out loud. “I… I dunno. It’s not a good time right now. Maybe when I’m in a better place. When I have more money and shit like that.” 

“I guess,” Tommy shrugged. “But it’s a shame to see talent go to waste.” 

“How do you know that I’m talented? I could suck.” 

“I’m assuming you’re talented,” Tommy chuckled. “I just get the feeling you are.” 

Nikki looked away, suddenly becoming shy. “I’ve just got other stuff going on… I’ll just appreciate music for now.” 

“Maybe one day we can play together,” Tommy suggested. 

“Yeah, maybe…” 

Tommy knew he had to change the subject. “I love The Dolls man, they’re one of my favorites. Johnny Thunders? Maybe the coolest guy ever.” 

“Oh yeah,” Nikki said, happy to be talking about something else. “I wish I could be him. He’s just the epitome of cool. But The Dolls, I love their style. I wish I could look like them. I try to, at least.” 

“You’ve got cool hair already, you just need the clothes,” Tommy smiled. 

“I’ve got some, but the important thing is the shoes. I literally stole a pair of red high heels from Macys last year. I think I’ve finally figured out how to walk in them.” 

The image of Nikki stealing women’s shoes was really amusing, but the image of Nikki in the shoes… well, that conjured up a different feeling entirely. Since he had gotten to finally see Nikki in the light and not soaked from the rain, the guy was actually… gorgeous. He looked like a fucking rockstar without even trying. He looked so pale against his jet black hair. He was pretty skinny, borderline sickly. But that didn’t take away from just his… general beauty. Tommy had to admit, Nikki was a good looking man. Feminine looking enough, too, to pull off a pair of heels. But Tommy was gonna stop thinking about that. 

They talked music for a long time. Nikki told him about all the local shows he had gone to, from The Whiskey to small, independent house shows. That’s how he spent most of his time, and it was the same for Tommy. “I’m surprised we never bumped into each other since we go to so many of the same shows,” Tommy said. 

“I try to keep a low profile,” Nikki said as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

Tommy cleared his throat. “Well, uh, should I get going? You know, with your friend having his girl over and all.”

“Huh?” Nikki asked. 

“Your friend what’s his name… Aidan. He looked like he was in the middle of something, and didn’t want anyone here. I don’t wanna intrude.” 

“Yeah, Aidan and his… girl,” Nikki said quietly. 

“Look,” Tommy admitted. “I know we only just met and the circumstances of that were weird, but like… I’d love to hang out with you again sometime.” 

Nikki was surprised. “I’d like that,” he said. “Um, lemme find a pen, I’ll give you my number.” He reached over and grabbed a Sharpie off of his bedside table. 

“Just write it on my arm,” Tommy suggested. “That way I won’t lose it.” 

Nikki silently and cautiously took Tommy’s arm and held it up. His grasp was gentle as he wrote out the number on Tommy’s skin. “There,” he said. 

Nikki walked Tommy out, and before Nikki closed the door, Tommy spoke. “Thanks for the beer,” he said. “I like hanging out with you.” 

Hiding behind his bangs, Nikki laughed sheepishly. “Ah, thanks… and I really appreciate you giving me the ride. That was way nice of you.”

“I’ll call you,” Tommy said with a grin. “Night, Nikki.” 

“Goodnight,” Nikki said, watching him as he walked down the hall. He shut the door and leaned against it with a sigh.


	2. Save Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy goes out to a local concert with Nikki and the two begin to get to know each other. Well, as much as Nikki will allow, anyway. One secret out, another to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long. I'm in the middle of writing like three things at once so I've been a little scatter brained lol. Hope you like it!

He decided that waiting a few days to call Nikki would be best. Tommy didn’t want to seem like an eager freak or anything. Soon he found the perfect reason to call him-- while out shopping he saw a poster for a metal show that night just a few blocks over. It was just five bucks to get in, and there were about six bands on the lineup. He didn’t know any of them, but it didn’t matter. A show was a show, always a good time. 

When he got back home, he dialed the number that was still on his arm. Faded, but still there. Tommy didn’t really feel like washing it off just yet. As he waited and listened to the dial tone, his sister was wandering through the house and saw her little brother on the phone like a nervous schoolboy. 

“Ooh,” she cooed. “Who are you calling?” 

Shut up Tommy mouthed. Thankfully his sister just laughed obnoxiously and walked away. A few seconds later, Nikki finally answered. “Hello?” his raspy voice answered. 

“Nikki! It’s Tommy, how’s it going?” 

“Oh, Tommy, hey!” he said. “I’m just about to walk out the door, I’m glad I caught you.”

“I won’t take up your time,” Tommy said. “I was just wondering if you wanted to meet up at a show tonight! It starts at 9:30, in someone’s basement at the end of Verona Road, you know where that is right?” 

“Oh yeah, I’ve been over there a few times. Who’s playing?” 

“Just some up and coming metal bands. None of them are big, but I think it’ll be fun anyway.”

“...Sure, I can dig it,” Nikki said. “I’ll head there after this job I gotta go to. Will you wait for me outside?” 

“Of course!” Tommy said. “I’m siked, dude. See you there!” 

“See you later Tommy!” Nikki said. 

After he had hung up, Tommy’s sister Athena peaked back into the room. “Got a hot date tonight or what?” she asked, giggling. 

“Mind your own business,” Tommy said, walking away and sticking his tongue out at her. 

The next few hours were a torturous mix of nerves and excitement. Every possible thought barreled through his brain like a semi; Will Nikki think this is cool or lame? Will he even show up? Will they have fun together or will it be uncomfortable? Most importantly, what the hell should he wear? 

After trying on three different pairs of pants, five different shirts, three pairs of shoes, and staring at himself in the mirror for a half hour trying to make his hair look just the perfect amount of “oh, I just rolled out of bed like this,” Tommy was ready. He smoked a little weed in an attempt to suffocate the butterflies in his stomach, and he was off. 

He got there before Nikki did, but only had to wait around for ten minutes or so until he saw Nikki’s silhouette approaching from the distance. “Hey!” he yelled, walking up to meet him. 

“Well this place looks cool as hell,” Nikki said. 

“Right?” Tommy put his arm around Nikki who quickly stiffened, but in a few seconds relaxed again. “I forgot to tell you it’s a five dollar cover, I’ve got some cash if you don’t.” 

“I can handle five dollars,” Nikki said. “Just don’t let me spend money I don’t have at the bar all night.” 

As they walked in, Tommy took in Nikki’s appearance. He looked done up and fantastic. Tommy noticed he had even put on eyeliner, and painted his nails black. He wasn’t actually going to say it out loud, but he thought that was mega brave of Nikki. Good for him, he thought, being himself and not giving a shit. Tommy had always wanted to paint his nails or wear some kind of makeup, but he always chickened out. Maybe someday he’d get the nerve to do it. Maybe Nikki could teach him how. 

The place was cramped, and they got down to the basement as the first band started to play. The crowd was full of guys in battle vests and combat boots. Nikki’s punk/goth look made him stick out, but he didn’t seem to care. They found a spot amidst the chaos where they could see the stage pretty well and claimed it. Nikki’s eyes were glued to the musicians, and he stood there transfixed. 

“Hey,” Tommy said, tapping Nikki’s shoulder. “I’m grabbing a drink, want something?” 

“Jack and coke?” 

“You got it.” 

“I don’t have money to give you for it, but I have another way of paying you back.” 

Tommy raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have to pay me back anyway. But what do you mean?” 

“Just get me my drink and then I’ll tell you.” Nikki winked and went back to looking at the stage. Tommy didn’t have the slightest clue what Nikki meant, but he was up for anything. 

When he came back with the drinks Nikki took it gratefully. He then opened up his hand, which had two pills in it. They weren’t like any Tommy had ever seen before. “You do ecstasy?” Nikki asked. 

“Yeah,” Tommy lied. 

“I got these for free earlier, figured I’d share with you.” He gave one to Tommy, and clinked glasses with him. “Cheers.” He put the pill in his mouth, chasing it with jack and coke. Tommy hesitantly did the same. 

“Thanks,” Tommy said after swallowing it. “You do this shit a lot?” 

“Oh no, not ecstasy,” Nikki said, shaking his head. “Never really go out of my way to do the stuff. Only when it’s available, you know?” 

“Yeah, same here,” Tommy said. He was really hoping he didn’t look as unsure as he felt. “When does it uh, kick in?” 

“Give it like an hour,” Nikki said. “Nothing better than free drugs and great music.” He grinned and brought his attention back to the stage. 

Tommy simply adored the way Nikki was so enthralled by the performance. He stood there tapping his foot and banging his head like nothing else was going on in the world. Tommy sometimes got self conscious about dancing at shows, like he had to act cooler than that or something. Nikki was definitely helping him loosen up. He started getting into it like no one was watching. Nikki noticed, and smiled. 

Nikki leaned towards him and spoke loudly into Tommy’s ear over the music. “Lemme buy you a drink,” he yelled. “I still owe you, man.” 

“No you don’t,” Tommy yelled back. “But how can I say no to a drink?” 

‘A drink’ turned into a couple shots, and Tommy felt pleasantly wasted. Nikki looked about the same, and it was funny to see him stumble over his words a bit and lose his footing when he walked. When they went back to watch the band, Nikki was being way more touchy feely than before. He was dancing up closer to Tommy, putting an arm around his waist, hitting him in the arm when he told a funny joke. Tommy gladly went with the flow. 

Breathless, Nikki turned to him and yelled, “Cigarette?” Tommy nodded, and Nikki grabbed him by the wrist, leading them out of the crowd and out the door to the quiet yard. They sat up against the wall with a few other smokers. 

“Whew, shit’s crazy in there!” Tommy said. 

“I know! Did you see the bass player for that last band? Holy shit. I kept lookin’ at him and thinking, ‘that’s what I wanna do.’ He was fuckin’ amazing.” 

“Then do it, Nikki!” Tommy said. “You won’t know what it’s like until you try!”

“I told you Tommy, that’s not possible right now,” Nikki sighed, taking a drag. 

“But why-- oh,” Tommy said suddenly. 

Nikki cocked his head to the side. “What is it?” 

“I feel the ecstasy now,” Tommy said.

Nikki started laughing, practically in hysterics. “Fuck man, yeah! I started feeling it like a half hour ago!” 

“I’m all warm,” Tommy said. He put all his weight on the wall behind him. “And cozy.” 

Nikki giggled and punched him in the arm playfully. “You’re funny,” he said. Then he leaned forward and looked Tommy straight in the eyes. “Your eyes are really brown. And big.” 

“Yours are… a lot of colors,” Tommy said, mesmerized. 

Nikki brought his face closer to Tommy’s, mere inches from his lips, but then pulled away suddenly. He finished his cigarette and threw it in the dirt. Tommy was wishing he hadn’t pulled away. “Hey Tommy?” he asked, suddenly sounding small and unsure. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Anything.” 

Nikki took a shaky breath. “I don’t… have a lot of friends,” he began. “And there’s a reason for that. But I really like you. I think you’re so cool…” He lit another cigarette. “So you deserve some honesty. Just so you know what you’re signing up for by hanging out with me. And if after I tell you this you hate me, I understand…” 

“How could I hate you?” Tommy asked. “What could you have done that’s so awful?” 

“I’m a junkie,” Nikki blurted out. “I’m selfish, I steal, I do dangerous, stupid shit…” He looked down at the ground. “I don’t blame you if you don’t wanna get involved with me.” 

“A junkie,” Tommy repeated. “Like you do--?” 

“Smack.” 

“With like… needles.” 

Nikki sighed. “Yes.” 

Tommy took a deep breath. “I don’t hate you, Nikki.” 

Nikki looked at him, hopeful. “You don’t?” 

“No way. Doesn’t make you a bad guy.” Tommy for some reason reached for the sleeve of Nikki’s jacket and started playing with the cuff. “I have friends that do the same thing. I don’t understand it, but it’s fine, Nikki.” 

“Why are you so nice to me?” Nikki asked with a sincerity that made Tommy’s heart pang. 

“Because you’re a person and you deserve it,” was Tommy’s simple reply. 

Nikki smiled sadly. “Fuck. If only that wasn’t just the half of my fucked up life.” He put his face in his hands, and Tommy instinctively wrapped an arm around him. 

“Hey, hey, what are you talking about?” 

Nikki cuddled up into Tommy’s side. “Smack is just the tip of the iceberg. I do worse things on a regular basis. Things I’m not proud of.” 

“Like what?” Tommy asked. “You can tell me.” 

“My job,” Nikki started, voice cracking. “I… it’s… fuck, I can’t tell you.” He looked back up at Tommy. “It’s illegal, and awful. Let’s just leave it at that.” 

Tommy decided to just run his fingers through Nikki’s jet black hair. It was so soft and perfect. In that moment his hand felt made to be there. He stroked Nikki’s hair slowly and rhythmically. Nikki seemed to enjoy it, letting his eyes flutter shut and leaning into Tommy. “Hey,” Tommy whispered into his ear. “Can we go sit in my car for a little?” 

Nikki chuckled. “Sensory overload?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“Let’s go then.” This time, Tommy took Nikki by the wrist and lead him down the street to where he had parked. He reached to open the driver’s side door, but stopped.

“How about let’s sit in the back together,” Tommy suggested. Nikki agreed, and they hopped in the backseat of the Toyota. Tommy put his arm around Nikki again, closed his eyes and said, “I love feeling you next to me.” 

“You are way high,” Nikki laughed. He didn’t protest, though. “I did like when you were touching my hair.” 

“Me too,” Tommy said. “But I wanna see something.” Nikki awaited Tommy’s request. “Take off your jacket.” 

Nikki complied, and although confused he didn’t ask why. He put his leather jacket on the floor and waited again. Tommy took Nikki’s hand and lifted his left arm up. He stared at it for a long time. Tommy swore he could hear Nikki’s heart racing. He traced his finger along Nikki’s arm, along the scabs and scars and bruises. He brought his finger back to a particularly fresh looking track mark. “I’ve never seen what it looks like before,” he said in his trance-like state. “I heard it leaves scars… but I’ve never seen them on someone before.” 

Nikki was biting his lip. He wanted to stop Tommy, wanted to hide again like he always did, but Tommy was being so gentle and acting like he actually gave a shit. No one ever did that. Still, it made Nikki feel physically ill to have Tommy inspecting him like that, so he decided he had to do something to take Tommy’s attention away from it. 

He grabbed Tommy by the back of the neck and kissed him hard. Tommy, though shocked at first, went right along with it. It felt better than ever to have his lips on another person. E was proving to be pretty fucking awesome. Tommy just hoped that he would remember all this the next morning. 

Time was moving so slowly and out of nowhere it began to move too fast; one second Nikki’s lips were on his, and the next Nikki was looking at him nearly in tears. “I can’t -- I have to go, I’m so sorry.” 

“What? Nikki, why?” Tommy reached out for him but it was no use. Nikki booked it out of the car, leaving his jacket behind. “Wait!” Tommy yelled. “You left your jacket!” But Nikki was already gone.


	3. Don't Think About Nothin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tommy, hey!” The voice made Tommy perk up instantly. “It’s Nikki, I had to call you on a payphone. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took so long to finish this because I have been working on a thousand things at once like a dummy, but I hope the length of this chapter will make up for it! I liked this one. Hope you do too. <3

Nikki disappeared for a few days. Tommy was beyond worried, and his heart simply ached just to talk to him. Whenever he tried to call, an automated voice said the number was out of service. He didn’t want this to be the end. He had to go and find Nikki somehow and apologize for whatever he had done to scare him off at the concert. He had to set things right. Nikki was honestly just too great to lose so quickly. 

Tommy wore Nikki’s jacket that he had left in his car whenever the longing was really bad. It smelt like him. It made him feel a little closer to the person he wished was around. There were things in the jacket pocket like notes and bass picks and receipts. There was a receipt from months ago from the convenience store, and all that was on it were cigarettes, condoms and a twelve pack of beer. It made Tommy laugh picturing Nikki in the store buying them. Most of the notes in his pockets had phone numbers and addresses on them, but a few notes had what looked to be lyrics or poetry on them. Tommy read the beautiful words written in scratchy handwriting on the crumpled piece of paper. 

_ You and me _

_ We're gonna escape tonight _

_ On the run _

_ Under the moonlight _

_ Don't think about nothin' _

_ Don't think about nothin' _

_ Tragedy _

_ Runnin' the red light _

_ Hear the screams _

_ Another one dies tonight _

_ Don't think about nothin' _

_ Don't think about nothin' _

  
  


He decided to keep it in his wallet so he’d always see it. 

Tommy really had no idea what could be going on. The logical but horrible scenario would be that maybe Nikki got arrested, or overdosed and wound up in the hospital, or worse. That didn’t bear thinking about, so Tommy imagined that Nikki just got caught up and busy and would eventually remember Tommy and call. Jesus, he really really hoped the latter scenario was true. Then, he got a phone call. 

“Hello?” he answered, uninterested as he smoked a cigarette. 

“Tommy, hey!” The voice made Tommy perk up instantly. “It’s Nikki, I had to call you on a payphone. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch.” 

“No, it’s all good man!” Tommy said, as if he hadn’t been worried sick for days. “What’s been going on, everything alright?” 

“Uh, not really,” Nikki said, forcing out a chuckle. “Me and Aidan and Kayla got evicted yesterday. We found a new place, but we can’t move all of our old shit over there, we don’t have a truck. So we’re kind of screwed right now.” 

“Oh shit… do you want some help? Maybe I can help move some of your stuff.” 

“I don’t wanna put you out of your way,” Nikki said. “I didn’t call to try and guilt you into helping me, I just thought you deserved to know why I hadn’t called. Especially after the last time we were together.” 

“It wouldn’t put me out of my way,” Tommy insisted. “I wanna help! My dad has a pick-up, I’ll see if I can borrow it.” 

“You’d really do that for us?” 

“Nikki, of course!” Tommy said. “I’ll meet you at your old place in like an hour, okay?” 

“You are such a lifesaver,” Nikki sighed in relief. “Thank you Tommy. For real.” 

Tommy begged his dad to borrow his truck for the day. His dad wasn’t too keen on letting his reckless son drive around in his new truck, but Tommy pestered him about it until he finally gave in and handed him the keys. 

When he pulled up to Nikki’s old apartment building, Nikki, Aidan and a girl who he assumed was Kayla were sitting in the grass with everything from their apartment, furniture and all. It was quite a scene. Tommy got out of the truck and approached them. “Jeez, they really threw you guys out,” he said. 

“I have no idea how our old as fuck landlord was able to take out our fucking couch!” Aidan exclaimed. “I can barely lift the thing!” 

Nikki smiled at Tommy. “Aidan, you met Tommy.” He pointed at the girl. “This is Kayla.” 

“A pleasure!” the girl beamed, standing up to give Tommy quite the firm handshake. She turned to Nikki. “Dude, you didn’t tell me your new boyfriend was  _ hot! _ ” 

Tommy looked at Nikki, extremely surprised at the use of the B word. “Kayla, shut up,” Nikki grumbled, like an embarrassed child. A really cute embarrassed child. “ _ Anyway,  _ we should start moving some shit. Let’s just finish this as fast as possible.” 

They started moving things little by little into the bed of the truck. Tommy was really surprised at Nikki’s strength as he lifted heavy boxes of miscellaneous objects. They saved the most difficult object for last, which was the couch. However, it wasn’t too hard to move with four people helping out. They heaved the thing onto the truck, and closed it up. “Now to the new palace!” Aidan said, hoping in the back of the truck with Kayla. Nikki sat up front and helped Tommy with directions to the place. 

“I knew that old hag next door was gonna snitch on us,” Kayla complained to Aidan. “It was only a matter of damn time.” 

“I know!” Aidan agreed. “It’s like she spied on our every move! Why can’t people just mind their own fucking business.” He lit a cigarette. “But fuck it. It’s not like this doesn’t always happen to us. We’re unstoppable, right Sixx?” 

Nikki forced out a chuckle. “Ha, yeah. Unstoppable.” Tommy made a mental note to ask Nikki what Aidan and Kayla meant in private. 

The new place was smaller and dingier than the last one. The area was sketchier too, but Tommy pretended not to care. He assisted the gang in bringing in their stuff and putting it in the appropriate place. He and Nikki put up all of Nikki’s posters into his new room. “Hey,” Nikki said. “This room has a window! And it’s not broken!”

“Look at you living all fancy now,” Tommy teased. “Don’t let it get to your head.” 

“I won’t forget the people I met at the bottom,” Nikki laughed. “You know, you’re really great for doing this.” 

“Do you know why I help you whenever I can?” Tommy asked. Nikki paused and shook his head. “Because I like you, Nikki. A lot.” 

Nikki’s beautifully hazel eyes gazed into his. He looked rather speechless, and Tommy swore he could see a bit of a blush. “I really like you too, Tommy,” Nikki said with a smile, looking the most shy Tommy had ever seen him. “I’m sorry about last time…” 

“No need to be sorry,” Tommy said. He put his hand gently on Nikki’s cheek. “I’m just glad you’re okay. And I’ve still got your jacket, you know.” 

“Looks like you’ll have to take me home with you so I can get it back. That’s my favorite jacket, y’know.” 

“Guess I have to,” Tommy smiled, leaning in closer and just as their lips almost touched, Aidan busted into the room. 

“Nik, have you seen my bong? What box is it in?” 

Nikki groaned and pulled away from Tommy. “How am I supposed to know? Can’t you see I’m busy?” Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. 

Aidan shrugged it off and went back to unpacking. “Do you really want to come to my place tonight?” Tommy asked excitedly. 

“I was just teasing you, but...can I?” Nikki asked. 

“Of course,” Tommy replied. “Kayla and Aidan won’t be mad at me for stealing you away? It is your first night at the new place.” 

“Fuck ‘em, they’ll get over it,” Nikki grinned. 

The two escape and drive to Tommy’s house, Nikki appearing to be more and more anxious the closer they got. He kept bouncing his knee quickly, and Tommy acted as though he didn’t notice. He had begun to learn that he really wasn’t going to get anything out of Nikki unless Nikki was the one to bring it up. 

Tommy pulled the car into the driveway and turned off the ignition. Nikki glanced at himself in the rearview mirror. “Jeez, I hope I look okay,” he said, fixing his hair. 

“You look great! Besides, don’t be nervous. The only one that’s home is my sister, you don’t have to worry about meeting my parents or nothing.” 

“I wish you had told me that earlier! This whole time I was having a goddamn stroke about making a good impression on your folks!” 

“That’s actually really… sweet,” Tommy chuckled. 

“Be quiet,” Nikki said bashfully, heading towards the door. 

They walked in, and Nikki was astounded at Tommy’s home. “Holy crap. This is a really, really nice place.” His eyes wandered around the interior taking in everything they could. 

“Thanks,” Tommy smiled. 

Footsteps were heard, and Tommy’s sister came into view. “Oh gosh!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know we were having company, I look like a wreck!” She most certainly did not look like a wreck. 

“Hi,” Nikki said, jutting out his hand. “I’m Nikki, nice to meet you.” 

She took his hand and shook it, looking him up and down. “I’m Athena, likewise.  _ You’re  _ Nikki? I thought you would be a girl!” 

“It is a girly name,” Nikki said. Tommy laughed. 

“So what’s wrong with you? There must be  _ something  _ since you’re dating my brother.” 

“Bye Athena,” Tommy said, grabbing Nikki by the wrist and bringing him upstairs to his room. 

“She looks just like you,” Nikki said, sitting down on Tommy’s bed. “And she’s got a way cool name, too.” 

“My mom named her that because she missed Greece so much. That’s where she’s from, and where I was born.”

“No way,” Nikki said, mouth agape. 

“Yes way. My dad was in the army, stationed in Athens. While he was out and about the country he met my mom, and the rest is history. After they got married and had me they moved here.” 

“That’s wild. I had no idea you were Greek. But now that I know, you do look a little mediterranean. Do you speak it? Greek, I mean.” 

“Nah, only a few words here and there. Mom never taught us. She was too busy learning English.” 

“What a story. I have no idea how my parents met. Hell, I don’t even know where my dad is now.” He looked around Tommy’s room. “This is such a nice home. I’ve never lived in a place like this.” 

“Where’d you grow up?” Tommy asked. 

“Ha, a lot of places,” Nikki chuckled. “I moved around a lot. Mom had me in California. Then we moved to Texas, and Mexico for a while after that. When she got sick of me I got shipped off to Idaho with my grandparents. I stayed there for a while, until I was about sixteen. When  _ they  _ got sick of me I went back to my mom’s, in Seattle. Didn’t last long because living with her was shit. I moved out quick as I could, hitchhiked to LA, and here we are.” 

This was the most personal information Tommy had ever gotten out of Nikki. He decided to keep pushing his luck. “What happened to your dad?” 

“Split when I was a really little kid. I found his phone number once and called him, but he didn’t want anything to do with me. Haven’t spoken to him since.” 

“And why was living with your mom shit?” 

Nikki sighed. “She’s just a fucking lunatic, man. She never should’ve had a kid. She’s just not the mom type. She only cares about herself, her boyfriends, and partying. I never felt like I actually ever had a mom. My grandma was more of a mother than she ever could be.” 

“So you’ve pretty much been on your own since…?” 

“Ever.” 

“Shit…” Tommy really wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m really sorry, Nikki.” 

“No need,” he answered, waving it off. “I’ve been doing just fine. Never needed them anyway.” 

Tommy laid down on his bed and got comfortable. He patted the free side of the bed next to him, and Nikki hesitantly followed Tommy’s lead and stretched out. “...can I ask you something?” Tommy asked. Nikki nodded. “The whole getting evicted thing… Aidan said it was because someone snitched on you guys. What happened?” 

Nikki bit his thumbnail and thought for a moment. “We had this neighbor that was always complaining about us, always looking for a reason to get us out of there. I dunno why she hated us so much, we were always nice to her and everything. But then she saw a sort of… let’s call it an  _ illegal exchange  _ happening outside our door. She told the landlord, and boom, evicted us.” 

“Was it a drug deal or something?” 

“Can I tell you some other time?” Nikki asked uncomfortably. “I just know it’ll make me upset to tell you and… I’m just sort of happy right now and don’t wanna lose this.” 

“Sure,” Tommy said sympathetically. He snuggled up closer to Nikki. “I know it must be hard. Thank you for telling me what you do and trusting me.” 

“You’re welcome,” Nikki said quietly. He yawned. “This bed is so comfy.” 

“Wanna sleep?” Tommy asked. 

“Oh yeah. But would you mind if I -- I usually can’t sleep without getting high first,” Nikki said, sitting up. “Can I? Would that make you feel weird?” 

“Nah,” Tommy said, a little unsure but still wanting to let Nikki do whatever he wanted. “You can, no worries.” 

“I’ll share, if you want,” Nikki offered. 

“Maybe,” Tommy said. “Here, I’ll show you the bathroom.” 

Nikki had everything he needed in his pants pockets. A rig, a small metal spoon, a lighter, a cotton ball that looked already used, and a gram of black tar in a little plastic bag. Tommy watched as Nikki methodically prepped his shot, and in a sort of sick way it was mesmerizing. When it was ready Nikki wasted no time in piercing the top of his hand with the needle, and Tommy expected the sight of it to scare him, but it wasn’t as bad as he had imagined. Once Nikki was through he sucked up the last of the liquid heroin concoction into the syringe and asked, “You wanna go?” 

Tommy was a bit paralyzed with nerves. The situation he had found himself in was frightening but exciting, adrenaline pumping through him and giving him a thrill. It was the sort of thrill you get when you know you’re doing something you shouldn’t. He was scared, but… Nikki wouldn’t put him in any harm, right? He was with someone that could help him if he needed, protect him. Nikki knew what he was doing. It would be okay. He nodded and said, “Yeah, but uh, I don’t really know how to use-- you know, I’ve never--” 

“I can do it for you,” Nikki offered, not a hint of judgement for Tommy’s inexperience in his voice. 

“Yeah, could you?” 

“Roll up your sleeve,” Nikki instructed. Tommy did so and Nikki held Tommy’s arm steady in his hands. “Wow,” Nikki said. “You’ve got such nice veins… They’re so visible.” They both chuckled. Nikki eyed a particular vein and brought the needle towards it. “There’s only a little in here, it shouldn’t be so bad. Do you want me to tell you when I’m about to do it, or just do it?” 

Tommy contemplated the question. “Tell me,” he decided. His heart was racing faster than it ever had. 

“Alright, on the count of three. One, two, three--” Tommy flinched as the needle went into his arm. It was such a  _ weird  _ feeling, because as Nikki slowly pushed the plunger of the syringe down Tommy could actually feel it being forced into his veins. It was quite an unnatural feeling. When Nikki pulled the needle out Tommy’s arm bled a little. Nikki grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed it clean. “Feeling okay?” he asked. 

Tommy was mostly dizzy. His muscles felt very relaxed, and his limbs were like rubber. He felt intensely nauseous, but he couldn’t quite throw up. It took a lot of effort to speak. “Woah. Yeah, I’m okay.” 

Nikki smiled and looked him in the eyes. “You look really calm and peaceful.” 

“I am.” He smiled lazily back at Nikki. 

They followed each other to Tommy’s bed, and Tommy nearly collapsed onto the mattress making Nikki giggle. “Thank you for letting me stay with you tonight,” Nikki said. He put his head on Tommy’s chest and laid against him. It took all of Tommy’s effort to throw an arm around Nikki, but he did. 

“My bed will be so empty without you now,” Tommy mumbled, shutting his eyes. 


	4. Decorated Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt like such a… mom. Nikki couldn’t remember the last time he hugged his own mother. He shut his eyes for a moment and pretended that this loving woman was his own mom. It was so nice. He snapped back to reality when she released him. “Tommy says you are a good friend, so now you are a friend of the family.” Her smile was so true and genuine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I too am shocked that I posted this so quickly

Nikki woke up early the next morning. Tommy was still fast asleep and snoring next to him, which was perfect. He carefully slid out of the bed, taking care not to disturb Tommy, put his sneakers and jacket on, then quietly made his way out. When he was halfway down the stairs, he heard movement in the kitchen.  _ Fuck,  _ he thought. Maybe it was just Tommy’s sister, so he took a deep breath and walked down anyway. 

It wasn’t Athena. It was Tommy’s mother, cleaning up the kitchen and sipping coffee. She noticed him immediately and with a soft, accented voice, said, “Good morning! You must be Tommy’s friend.” 

“Yeah, my name is Nikki, nice to meet you Mrs. Lee,” Nikki pushed out, forcing a smile. 

“Leaving so soon? Would you like some coffee?” She simply radiated warmth and kindness, and it was hard for Nikki to refuse. He really just wanted to get out of there, though. He had to, he had a job on the other side of town in two hours. 

“I couldn’t Mrs. Lee,” Nikki said politely. 

“The pot is still warm! Come, sit, for just a minute.” 

Nikki contemplated the offer. He didn’t want to seem rude by turning her down, and he really could use the caffeine. “Ah, sure, thank you.” He sat down at the table and let Mrs. Lee pour him a mug. She brought it over and sat down next to him. 

“Sugar?” she asked. 

“No thank you, black is fine,” Nikki smiled. “I really appreciate you letting me spend the night. You have a beautiful home.” 

“What a nice boy! Thank you! Where are you from, honey?”

“I live in The Oak Apartments, just west from here. I moved there yesterday.” 

“Oh,” she said, a worried look on her face. She must’ve known how much the area sucked. Nikki wished he had lied and told her he was from somewhere better. “And you met Tommy around there?” 

“Deeper in the city, yeah. He offered me a ride when he saw me waiting for the bus in the rain.” Nikki took a small sip of the hot coffee, and it was great. “Your son is really, really kind.” 

Mrs. Lee smiled proudly. “Such a good boy. Tommy loves to help people. He has a big heart.”

“He really does. You should be proud.” 

“Everyday, I am,” she said. “Why did you wake up so soon? Do you have to go to work?”

“Yeah. I didn’t mean to try and sneak out,” Nikki said sheepishly. He drank about half of his coffee in a few large gulps. 

“What do you do?” she asked. 

“Construction,” he lied. For some reason, that was the first thing that came to his head. 

“A good job for a young man!” she said. “Good money?”

“Yes ma’am.” Nikki finished his coffee. “Thank you so much, I really do have to get going, though.” 

“I won’t keep you any longer.” She stood up and walked Nikki to the door, and then something weird happened -- she  _ hugged  _ him. Nikki was shocked, and didn’t really know what to do. After a second of processing the situation, he slowly hugged her back. She felt like such a… mom. Nikki couldn’t remember the last time he hugged his own mother. He shut his eyes for a moment and pretended that this loving woman was his own mom. It was so nice. He snapped back to reality when she released him. “Tommy says you are a good friend, so now you are a friend of the family.” Her smile was so true and genuine. 

“...thank you,” Nikki answered quietly. He wished he could stay in this world longer. Now he dreaded going back to the real one. “Have a good day, Mrs. Lee.” She waved him off as he left the house and walked to the nearest bus stop. He really tried to avoid it, but he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks. 

Tommy awoke a few hours later with quite the hangover. He rubbed his eyes and his heart sank when he didn’t feel Nikki next to him. He sighed. He had really hoped to spend the morning with Nikki. Who knows, though. Maybe Nikki had things to do. Tommy forced himself to get up and get dressed and get on with the rest of his day. 

He hung out with a couple of his friends, had a few drinks, and actually had a really great time. He told them all about Nikki, and although they made fun of him, they expressed how happy they were for Tommy. The guys all wanted to meet Nikki, and Tommy told them that one day he’d bring Nikki over. 

When he got home, his mother told him that somebody had called looking for him. She said it was a boy named Aidan, and it sounded urgent. She had written down the number for Tommy, which he grabbed and ran to the phone as fast as he could. What the hell was going on? 

“Hello?”

“Aidan, it’s Tommy. I just got home, is everything okay?” 

Aidan gave a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you finally called. I don’t want you to freak out, but… Nikki isn’t really okay.” 

Tommy couldn’t  _ not  _ freak out. “What happened, does he need me? I can come over right now.” 

“Please do. He came back from working a total wreck. He locked himself in his room and he won’t come out. I’m really worried, man.” 

“I’m on my way.” Tommy hung up before Aidan could respond, and practically ran out to his car. 

The traffic on the way there was driving Tommy insane. He was driving like a total asshole, but only because it was an emergency. The more time passed, the more frantic Tommy became. When he reached the apartment he ran to the door and pounded on it. Aidan answered looking downright distraught. He let Tommy in and got close to him. “Nikki let me talk to him a few minutes ago,” he whispered. “I just want you to know what you’re going to walk into. He told me shit like he can’t take this anymore, and that he should just kill himself. It’s really, really bad.” 

Tommy felt strangled. He attempted to snap out of it; he had to stay strong for Nikki. He nodded and went to Nikki’s bedroom door. With a shaking hand, he knocked on it lightly. “Nikki, it’s me… can you please let me in? Please?” There was nothing but silence. “ _ Please,  _ Nikki. I’m so worried. Please let me in.” Thankfully after a few seconds Tommy heard footsteps approach the door. The lock clicked, and the door slowly opened. 

All Nikki could do was stare at Tommy blankly. His eyes were swollen and watery. Nikki was ghostly pale and trembling. Lacking the will and energy to speak, he simply opened the door all the way and let Tommy in. 

Tommy sat down on the bed with him. He didn’t want to push and make things worse. He just sat there and waited until Nikki was ready. He watched as Nikki stared at the ground, motionless. It looked like Nikki wasn’t even there, like he was just an empty body. Lifeless. A shell. 

It took maybe five minutes of silence before Nikki could finally speak. “I… don’t usually talk to people when… I’m like this…” 

Tommy wrapped his arms around Nikki, tight and secure. “I’m right here. I’ll stay here forever if I have to. You can tell me whatever you want, whenever you want.” He placed a gentle kiss in Nikki’s hair. “I love you,” he murmured, so quietly it was almost inaudible. Almost. 

Nikki broke out into hysterics. He buried his face against Tommy and cried so hard he was breathless. He kept trying to say something, but Tommy couldn’t really understand. Nikki continued to repeat the phrase until finally Tommy go it: “No you don’t.” 

“Why would you say that?” Tommy asked softly, a sob escaping his throat. 

“B-because you don’t k-know the truth.” 

“Then please just tell me the truth, Nikki.” 

Nikki sat up to look straight at Tommy.  _ “I’m a fucking prostitute! _ ” Nikki yelled, finally breaking. “I fuck guys for money because I have a criminal record and can’t get a normal job and I need money for smack!” He stared at Tommy, waiting for him to insult him, turn away in disgust, anything. Tommy never did. 

“I love you,” he repeated, tears in his eyes. 

Nikki fell into his embrace again and cried into Tommy’s chest. Tommy just stroked his hair and let him cry it out. It was killing Tommy to know Nikki was suffering so horribly. It was also killing Tommy to know that he was going to have to ask a really hard question. 

“Did the guy you were with today hurt you?” Tommy gritted out. Nikki nodded. “Can you tell me…?” 

Nikki wiped his eyes. His voice was hoarse and raspy. “When I got there… I asked for the money first, like I always do. B-but I was getting a real creepy vibe from this guy. I usually follow m-my gut with those sort of things so I made up something so I could leave. But he didn’t let me leave. I h-had to sleep with him anyway. W-we agreed on two hundred. I left with just fifty.” He wiped his nose on his sleeve. “This has happened to me s-so many times. I’m so  _ tired  _ of it. I wish one of these guys would just kill me already. It would be better than living with all of this.” 

Tommy opened his mouth, but closed it. What could anyone even say to that? You couldn’t just say ‘that’s awful’ or ‘I’m sorry.’ That wouldn’t even begin to cover it. So much was happening in his mind that it was kind of just making him go numb. He went for asking, “...what can I do right now, Nikki?”

Nikki took a few breaths, slowly getting a bit more calm. “Honestly… can we go somewhere else? I just wanna… be with you, and talk to you, and do something else other than sit here.” 

“We can do that.” He held Nikki’s hand in his and stroked the top of Nikki’s hand with his thumb. “Nikki?”

“Hm?”

“You know you say the word and I’ll kill anyone that hurts you, right?” 

Nikki sort of laughed. “Tommy, I need you here with me, not in prison.” He kissed Tommy’s cheek softly. 

“I’m not just being nice, I swear to god, Nikki.” 

“I know.” Nikki squeezed his hand. “Before we go anywhere, I need a hit.” 

“Alright. I’d take one, but I can’t drive on that shit.” 

“You could take one and we could walk to the diner down the road?” Nikki suggested. 

“Alright,” Tommy shrugged. 

Nikki took off his jacket, the one Tommy had worn, to expose arms that were not only decorated in track marks, but rows of cuts absolutely done by razor blade. They were deep. Some were still oozing blood that smeared all over his arms. Nikki prepped his shot and put it in his hand again.  _ Could you shoot heroin into an open wound?  _ Tommy thought. Nikki did Tommy’s for him again, and it sort of made Tommy’s heart jump to see that there was a bruise where Nikki had injected him last time. It didn’t hit him like a freight train this time. He didn’t feel like collapsing, he actually felt really comfortable. He still kinda wanted to throw up, though. 

Nikki put his jacket on, and they headed out. Kayla still wasn’t back, but Aidan looked relieved to see Nikki out of his room and alive. Tommy kept tripping over his own feet on the sidewalk and Nikki laughed every time. It made Tommy so genuinely happy to see Nikki laughing after the night he had. Nikki was such a strong fucking person. Tommy imagined he would want to kill himself, too. They smoked a few cigarettes as they walked, and actually held hands. 

The hostess at the diner put them at a booth close to the front door. In moments the waitress came and Nikki ordered a Jack and coke. Tommy got the same. “I don’t know if I could eat food,” Tommy said. 

“It’s usually not easy to on smack. I am kinda hungry, though. Wanna share french fries with me?” 

Soon they were drunk as well as high and munching on french fries that Nikki covered in ketchup. A little bit more life had come to his face. “Your mom is amazing,” Nikki said out of nowhere. 

Tommy laughed. “Yeah, she’s great. Why do you say that?” 

“She made me coffee before I left. She even  _ hugged  _ me goodbye. She’s like a TV mom. You’re so lucky.” 

Tommy grinned and ate another french fry. “So like… do Kayla and Aidan do the same thing you do?” 

“Yeah. Most of the people in this sort of business have each other’s backs. It’s also far easier to pay rent when you split it three ways. They’re good people though. Especially Aidan. He’s also from Idaho, so us midwest boys gotta stick together.” 

“What sort of people do you meet with?” Tommy asked. “Are they like, all creepy virgins?” 

“Nah, you’d be surprised,” Nikki answered. “A whole lotta ‘straight’ guys with wives and kids and shit. It’s really weird to be fucking a guy and right above the bed is a framed photo of his family. It really makes me feel… well, awful. But I’m just trying to make a living. These guys call me and make the choice.” He finished off his drink. “One time I asked a guy for a cigarette after we fucked. He said he didn’t smoke, but his wife did. I left that place smoking one of her cigarettes, after just fucking her husband.” 

Tommy’s mouth hung open. “Jesus Christ, dude. Did you ever get caught? Like, did a wife or girlfriend or whatever ever walk in on you?”

Nikki laughed. “ _ Plenty  _ of times. It’s actually hilarious. While they slap their husbands I just slip out with my money.” 

“That’s nuts, man!” Tommy said, shaking his head. “And you make a couple hundred every time?” 

“Easily. Most of these guys have money, so it’s not hard to get a lot out of them. If they’re wearing business clothes or driving nice cars, I hike up the price. It’s not like they know any better.” Nikki looked towards the door then. His eyes flashed with recognition at the person coming in. The person seemed to recognize Nikki, too. “Evening, Sergeant,” Nikki said in mock respect, saluting at the man. 

“Sixx,” the gruff man said suspiciously as he approached the table. “Not causing trouble tonight, are we?” 

“No sir. Just spending a quiet evening with a friend.” He motioned to Tommy, who waved dumbly. 

“A friend?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yes sir, a good, responsible young man.” Tommy nearly spit out his drink. “The city is safe from me tonight, Carl, no need to worry.” 

The man let out a chuckle. “I better not be seeing you around.” 

“The feeling is mutual.” The man nodded at Nikki, and went to his own table. 

Tommy was dumbfounded. “Was that a fucking  _ cop?” _

“Sergeant Carl of the LAPD,” Nikki said. “Unfortunately, we know each other well. He’s been my nemesis since age seventeen.” 

“Nikki, this is wild. You couldn’t make this shit up. Why was he so  _ nice  _ to you?”

“He’s always kind of been nice to me. Maybe he feels bad for me. Either way, it works in my favor. At the end of the day, he’s just doing his job.” 

Nikki told him some stories of his encounters with the sergeant while they each got another drink and finished their fries. Tommy grew up under the watchful eyes of his parents, so hearing about all the shit Nikki was up to while living on the streets before he was even eighteen was unimaginable to Tommy. He truly admired Nikki for everything he had been through and the absolute warrior he became as a result. 

Soon they felt they had overstayed their welcome at the diner, so (upon Nikki’s prideful insistence) they split the check and walked back to Nikki’s. Back outside, Nikki’s mood became a bit somber. “Tommy,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck. “Now that you know everything… honestly, I don’t know if I have STDs or not. That’s why I didn’t wanna hook up yet. I hope you didn’t think it was because I wasn’t attracted to you or something.” 

“It’s okay, man. I appreciate you looking out for me.” Tommy put his arm around him. “I can always give you a ride to go see a doctor if you need.”

“Because you wanna fuck me?”

“Definitely,” Tommy nodded. Nikki giggled. 

Back at the apartment, Tommy decided to head home since it was pretty late. He made Nikki swear to call him if he needed even anything at all. Nikki promised and kissed him goodbye. On the drive home, he was finally hit with all the emotions he’d been repressing. They all hit at once, but fear was at the forefront as only one thing echoed in his mind.

_ Nikki and I shared needles.  _


	5. Living in Dreamland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy wished desperately that he could be some sort of prince charming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I TOOK SO LONG GOD DAMN IT

Ever since the conversation where the truth had come out, Tommy hadn’t been able to sleep soundly through a single night. His main concern was Nikki, of course. Nikki was out there putting himself in danger every single day. He was risking his life, his health, his  _ sanity.  _ Sure, Nikki was making good money. But not enough for a home to call his own. Not enough to go to the doctor to get checked out god forbid he contracted something awful. Which lead to his next major concern; did Nikki contract something awful and give it to  _ Tommy.  _

Tommy wished desperately that he could be some sort of prince charming. If he was older and had a place of his own, he would whisk Nikki away from this life and get him the help he needed. He couldn’t though, at least in the position he was currently in. ‘Hey mom and dad, can my friend whos also a prostitute and may or may not have AIDs with a nasty heroin habit stay with us until he can get back on his feet?’ Tommy’s folks were nice, but they weren’t  _ that  _ nice. There was no way that was going to fly. 

When he was home by himself, Tommy paced around the house chain smoking with shaking hands. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he didn’t want to let them fall. Fuck, he wished he wasn’t so weak and emotional. He wished he was the powerful type, not the type to bend under pressure like this. 

His Nikki was being passed around the whole city like some common whore, when in reality Nikki deserved to be treated like royalty. And those men that hurt him, that took advantage of him? They’re lucky Nikki told Tommy not to start any trouble, because Tommy’s trigger finger was itching. His father had a gun, ad had taught him how to use it from a young age. He was cautioned to only use it during emergencies. Wiping rapists off the face of the earth seemed like an emergency to Tommy. But Nikki had told him not to. Nikki did need him more than he needed Tommy in prison. It was just so hard to suppress the violent anger welling up inside of him every day, threatening to explode.

Tommy knew he was going to have to do something really embarrassing; go to the doc, and get checked for STDs. The mere thought of it made him cringe, but if he did catch something, it was better to catch it early, right? And if he was clean, there was a solid chance Nikki was too, so maybe he could put Nikki’s mind at ease too. Tommy swallowed his pride, made the most awkward phone call of his life, set up an appointment at the local clinic, and went the next morning. 

The doctor asked him all the basic questions, like do you use condoms, do you check often to make sure things look all normal down there and shit, the whole nine yards. “It sounds like you’ve been doing everything right,” the doctor said, quite confused. “Why are you looking to get tested today?”

Tommy absolutely wanted to die. “Anything I tell you, you can’t tell anyone else?” he asked. 

“Of course. Doctor-Patient confidentiality.” 

He took a nervous breath. “Well, I was…  _ experimenting  _ with some drugs with a friend and… he and I used the same needle.” 

“I see,” the doctor said, writing it down in his notes seeming completely unphased. “And you’re not sure if he’s disease free.”

“Mhm…”

“Heroin?”

“Damn doc,” Tommy chuckled. “You’re blunt. But uh… yeah.” 

“How old are you, son?” 

“Twenty, sir.”

“And are you having sexual relations with this friend of yours?”

Tommy laughed nervously, and he wanted to say something witty, but he couldn’t push anything out. He sat there floundering like an idiot fish. 

“Mr… Lee, was it? I am a medical professional. My job is to help and protect you, not judge you. With AIDs running rampant, there are the questions I have to ask. Regardless of your answer, you will be treated just the same as any other patient. So may I ask for your full honesty?” 

Tommy shut his eyes, mentally preparing himself. He never actually admitted this to another human soul, but I guess now it was time. “Honestly… I’m trying to start a relationship with him. Not just like sex, but like, romantically too. He told me he has a history of being  _ promiscuous  _ and he has no idea if he has anything.”

“Promiscuous as in unsafe sex with multiple partners?” Tommy nodded, and the doctor sighed. “Are you a regular user of heroin, Mr. Lee?” 

“No, no, I’ve only done it a few times.”

“Is your partner a regular user?” 

“Yes,” Tommy said softly, avoiding the doctor’s eyes. 

“I don’t think I have to tell you how unsafe your behavior is as you are an adult and I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.” He approached Tommy with piercing eye contact. “Mr. Lee, yesterday a young man just like yourself came in with similar worries. Not only had he shared needles, but also had unprotected anal sex.” Tommy would’ve laughed at the word ‘anal’ if the situation wasn’t so serious. “He tested positive for hepatitis and AIDs. Can you take a guess at how old this young man was?” 

Tommy thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Uh… twenty-four? Twenty-five?”

“Seventeen. A minor, Mr. Lee. A child.” 

Tommy froze. “I-- wow.” 

“And now that child has to live the rest of his life, his possibly  _ short _ life, affected by one decision that could’ve been avoided he made at seventeen. That’s how serious this is, Mr. Lee. You’re not much older than that boy. It is crucial that you begin making smart decisions in your youth, when you have time.”

“Can you help me?” Tommy blurted out. “I just gotta know if something’s wrong. I gotta know what to do.” 

“All I can do is test you, hope for the best, but treat you if the worst happens. I’m gonna send a nurse in to perform some testing. Stop making shitty choices, kid. You’re too young to die.” With that, the physician left. 

A nurse came in and carried out all the aforementioned tests, and told Tommy to wait about fifteen minutes for the results to come back. Talk about the most horrific fifteen minutes of his god damn life. When that torture ceased, the nurse returned and told him he came back negative on everything. She gave him a speech about safe sex, gave him a few condoms, and sent him on his way. 

Holy crap. He had never been more relieved in his life. This was good news for Nikki, too, because now Tommy could tell him he was clean, too. He went over to Nikki’s place and shared the good news. 

Nikki’s jaw dropped. “Tommy-- the needles, I didn’t even think about it, I’m such an  _ idiot.  _ Fuck, I could’ve killed you, what the fuck was I--” 

“Babe, don’t beat yourself up. Everything’s okay. Everything turned out okay.” Tommy kissed Nikki softly on the tip of his nose. 

“You really forgive me?” 

“Of course I do. We were both being stupid. But now it’s over. And I would really, really like to have sex with you.” 

Nikki gasped and started laughing when Tommy swept him off of his feet and into his arms. “My bed is covered in junk,” Nikki giggled. 

“Floor’s fine,” Tommy shrugged, pulling Nikki into the most passionate kiss he could muster. Nikki didn’t pull away this time. He didn’t flinch, didn’t even hesitate. Nikki simply melted into Tommy's arms, releasing such a beautiful noise of contentment from those perfect lips it made Tommy shiver. 

He carried Nikki to his bedroom and laid him down on the bed, even though it was covered in things like dirty clothes and pieces of paper containing scribbled lyrics. Tommy saw an empty baggie, but he ignored that. Nikki was downright  _ ravenous,  _ hands under Tommy’s shirt to run fingernails down his back and his groin rubbing mercilessly against Tommy’s. It was easy to tell that this likely wasn’t going to be a slow, passionate affair -- they had waited quite a while for this. They wanted release, and fast. 

Nikki made Tommy kneel in front of him and started unbuttoning his jeans. “Sorry for the lack of foreplay,” Nikki said. He pulled them down. “But I  _ really  _ wanna suck your dick.” 

Tommy laughed, but it stopped being funny real fucking fast when he felt Nikki’s mouth. As much as it bothered him that he had to share Nikki’s body, it had given Nikki a lot of time to sharpen his sex skills, and that much was obvious. Nikki didn’t look nervous, didn’t hesitate, was completely comfortable. It made Tommy relax a little. He didn’t have a whole lot of experience himself, and he hoped and prayed that it wouldn’t show. 

Nikki stopped to wrap his arms around Tommy and kiss him, and  _ wow,  _ the combination of tasting Nikki’s mouth and his own precum was completely out of this world. Tommy wanted to tell Nikki that he could kiss him forever, but he didn’t want to be too cheesy. Then Nikki looked at him questioningly. “Hey, um, would you mind if I--? I mean, I don’t know what you usually --”

Tommy chuckled. “What?”

Nikki’s cheeks were adorably pink as he tried to find the right words. “You’d think I would be better at talking about these sorts of things considering my profession,” he chuckled. “But what I mean is… ugh, god, I’ll spit it out. Can I be on top? Like,  _ I  _ fuck you? Only if you want to, though.” 

Tommy couldn’t help but find the whole thing so fucking cute. “Nikki, that’s totally fine! I don’t care how we sleep together as long as we sleep together! I’m real easy, man!” 

He hit Tommy on the arm and giggled. “Not that I mind  _ getting  _ fucked, but that’s what all the guys want, and I’m tired of it. I like sort of being in control sometimes.” 

“Use me however you wish,” Tommy grinned, and after telling him to shut up, Nikki pushed him down on his back and kissed him again. 

They got rid of any remaining clothes and Nikki began working Tommy open with lubed, skillful fingers. It took a little while for Tommy to adjust. It had been a long time since someone had done this to him, considering the last guy he slept with was two years ago and it had really only been women after that. It wasn’t that painful though, considering Nikki took a lot of care in not being too rough and really taking the time to make Tommy comfortable. Tommy just stared at Nikki in awe the entire time. Whenever Nikki noticed this, he smiled the most genuine smile Tommy had ever seen. His heart was truly on fire. 

It was then that Nikki began to push into him, and although he knew Nikki’s dick was big just by looking at it, it felt ten times bigger inside of him. He didn’t want to be a bitch and ask Nikki to go slowly, but Nikki got the message and did so. “Ugh,” Nikki groaned, an expression of pure pleasure plastered across his face. “You feel fucking great.” 

Tommy threaded his fingers in Nikki’s hair. Nikki gradually increased the pace of his thrusts, kissing up and down Tommy’s neck as he went. Not for a second did anything feel awkward, nothing felt disappointing. Everything exceeded whatever expectations Tommy had, and as he watched the man that he adored so much put so much effort into pleasuring him, he felt so completely, utterly in love. Yeah. Definitely in love. 

He was already climbing towards climax, but Nikki started hitting a certain spot in him, shooting him a million miles an hour towards his climax. “Oh yeah, keep going right there,” Tommy moaned, and Nikki smiled with pride as he pounded in harder and deeper. He pushed Tommy’s legs open wider, fingernails digging crescents into Tommy’s skin. 

In just a few minutes Tommy was clutching onto Nikki’s shoulders, groaning his name as he came. Nikki kissed him passionately, and with a few strong thrusts Tommy could feel Nikki’s warm cum inside him. Both completely exhausted, they collapsed onto the bed. Nikki snuggled up into Tommy, who held him there in a loving embrace. 

“I knew I was gonna cum first,” Tommy said, and Nikki started laughing. “You have an unfair advantage being a professional.” 

Nikki smiled and rested his head on Tommy’s chest. “That was amazing,” he said softly, shutting his eyes. “You’re amazing.” 

Tommy, speechless, simply drifted off. It was the best sleep he’d ever gotten in his life. 


	6. I've Been Afraid of Changing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooooooow I should have updated way sooner and I"m sorry but the story is really moving along now and will be approaching its end very soon. Thanks for everyone that's been reading and commenting, it means the whole wide world!

“I don’t know, man, I just don’t think-- I don’t know.” Nikki hugged his knees to his chest while he nursed his third cigarette in a row. He gripped the phone tightly and sighed. “Can I call you back when I’ve had some time to think about this? Alright. Talk to you later babe.” He hung up the phone and stared at the wall. 

Nikki had never been put in this position before. Now that he had someone in his life who genuinely gave a shit about his well being, he was being asked to make changes in his life that he honestly wasn’t sure he was ready to make. Nikki was never good with change. Maybe that’s why he was able to deal with his shitty life. It was shitty, but at least it was consistent. 

Tommy had offered to help Nikki find a job. A real job, one that would require Nikki to act like a normal person. He would probably be able to do it, but that wasn’t the hardest part of the whole proposition; Nikki would have to clean up his act. He was gonna have to call it quits with dope, and for good. 

It was never something that Nikki had even considered. Sure, it was hell being under its constant control, the withdrawals, the ODs, the sketchy people, the havoc it wreaked on his body, the list went on. But all of that seemed worth it when he finally got that relief. Heroin was always the only thing that ever gave him a semblance of calm. It was the only time he could lay down and press pause on life for a while. It was what he looked forward to after a long night. It’s what motivated him to get out there and make money. It’s what he had been doing for years. He didn’t know any other way. 

He knew though that if he really wanted to be in a relationship with Tommy, he couldn’t be in a relationship with smack at the same time. He was going to have to at least start cutting down, hitting an NA meeting here and there,  _ something.  _ He wanted to prove to Tommy that he was serious about their relationship, that he’d be willing to put in the work. The idea of all these changes was terrifying, but the thought of losing Tommy now that he’d grown hopelessly attached scared him even more. Nikki was going to have to try. 

But what about Aidan and Kayla? They needed Nikki, they relied on him. Without Nikki, he doubted they would be able to make rent every month. They were like the siblings he never had. They were a fucked up family. Nikki didn’t want to abandon them. How would they make it on their own? They would most likely hate Nikki forever if he up and left them in the dust just because he fell in love. Nikki wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He’d have to just sit down with them and talk about it all. He’d just have to be as honest as possible. 

Nikki geared up to take a hit, teeth grinding with anxiety. On top of all the other bullshit, what sort of job would he even be able to do? He had no skills, he didn’t graduate high school, he didn’t know shit. He supposed he could do some sort of physical labor job. They usually hired people even if they had criminal records. It was gonna be hard. For so long he had thought that all he was good for was whoring himself out. He thought it was what he deserved, really, for being such a horrible person. Was he really worth more? 

The shot registered and he pulled the needle out of his neck. He laid down and wondered how long Tommy would be able to be patient with him. It was gonna take Nikki a while to get used to all the changes he was gonna make, and Nikki knew he would fuck up a few times before getting it right. He just hoped that Tommy was ready for a bumpy ride. 

Back at Tommy’s place, Athena had been on the phone for almost two hours screaming at her boyfriend and crying. Tommy wasn’t shocked that this was probably the end-- he never liked the guy. He did feel bad for his sister though, and when she slammed the phone down on the receiver and ran crying to her room, Tommy felt obligated to check up on her. He knocked on her bedroom door and she shouted “GO AWAY” in a raspy voice. 

“Thena, it’s Tommy, just let me in. Are you okay?” 

She answered the door, face covered in snot and tears. “T-Tanner broke up with me,” she sobbed. 

“I figured.” He sat down on her bed with her. “What happened?” 

He let Athena go on about it for as long as she needed. He’d honestly never seen her this upset over a guy, and it made him sad. He very much wanted to punch Tanner, but he’d be sure to ask her permission first when she had calmed down. Tommy patted her back as she blew her nose. 

When she was snot free, she took a deep breath. “The worst part is,” she started. “I was so vulnerable… I  _ trusted  _ him. My own dumb feelings tricked me into trusting him.” 

“It’s not dumb,” Tommy said. “You can’t help loving someone. You aren’t the bad guy for trusting him, he’s the bad guy for taking advantage of that trust.” 

“...wow,” she said. “Thanks, Tommy. You’re actually helping me feel a little better.” 

“No problem Athena, really,” he said. “Your my sister, I gotta make sure you’re okay. And besides, I’m dealing with relationship stuff myself right now, so I know how it feels.” 

“You are?” she asked. “I thought things were going well!”

“They are, it’s just…” Tommy picked at his cuticles. “I really fell for him. Like, I’ve never been this serious about someone. I just don’t know if he’ll be able to have a real relationship.” 

“Why, is he scared of commitment?” 

“I think so. He told me he feels the same way about me, but… let’s just say he’s never been the type to be tied down to one person. He lives this like, really casual lifestyle. And I’m trying to convince him to settle down, but I don’t know if he wants to. I’m scared he won’t wanna try.” 

“People don’t change just because they fall in love,” Athena said. “Trust me, I know. It’s a lot of work. It takes a lot of patience.” 

“I think I can be patient.” 

“I think you can, too. But some people don’t change so easy, Tommy. I hope he does, but I don’t want you to get your heart broken if he can’t.” 

“I really, really like him, Athena.” 

“I know you do.” She hugged him tightly. “You have a big heart. You’ve got a lot of love in there. I’m hoping the best for you guys.” 

That night, Nikki went over to Tommy’s house. He told Tommy that he’d start looking for a job and at least give it a shot, and Tommy was thrilled. They sat at his kitchen table going through want ads, every so often pointing out something interesting and ripping it out for future reference. Tommy’s mom popped in and asked what they were doing. “I thought you had construction job, Nikki!” Tommy raised an eyebrow. 

“I quit,” Nikki answered. “So it’s time for something new.” 

She sat down with them. “What are you thinking?” 

Nikki exhaled. “Well, there’s this auto body shop looking for help in the garage. I could probably do that. There’s also a landscaping company, and masonry.” 

“Okay,” Mrs. Lee said. “All fine jobs. But wait a minute,” she exclaimed. “Tommy, your dad’s office is looking for help part-time.” 

“Really?” Tommy asked, surprised. 

“Mrs. Lee, that’s a very cool opportunity, but I don’t think I could work in an office,” Nikki said. 

“Oh I know you’re a rock and roll guy, but it’s good money,” she said. Nikki laughed. 

“I mean I would, I’m sure it’s a real good gig,” he replied. “But I uh, I didn’t exactly graduate high school. They’d probably want that in an employee.” 

Mrs. Lee didn’t seem at all judgemental after the revelation. “You would be surprised! It might just be worth a try. I could talk to my husband and try to get you an interview.” 

“Nikki, dude, that would be insane!” Tommy said, hitting him on the arm. 

Nikki rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah man, I don’t know… I guess I could try. Just ty. What have I got to lose, right?” 

“That’s the spirit, Nik!” Tommy said. 

“Excellent!” Mrs. Lee said, clasping her hands together. “I will let you know what he says about it. In the meantime, good luck with the job hunting.” She patted Nikki on the shoulder and went back to whatever she was doing around the house. 

Once Mrs. Lee was out of earshot, Nikki put his head in his hands. “I’m never gonna get that job. I’m just gonna embarrass myself.” 

“Why? Maybe they-- oh right, your record.” 

“I don’t wanna make your parents look bad, I mean what’ll they think?” 

“Maybe they won’t care about that,” Tommy said. “But I feel you. We can keep looking at other jobs, just maybe keep that one in mind as a last resort or something.” 

“I really hope I don’t let you down,” Nikki muttered. 

“Hey, you’re trying your best, alright? And that’s enough for me.” Tommy leaned over and kissed him on the head. “Thanks for like, thinking I’m worth it.” 

“Are you kidding?” Nikki asked. “I should be thanking  _ you  _ for that. I just want you to know that I really wanna be a good person for you. I’ve never done this before, so it’s hard for me. But I’m gonna give it all I have.” 

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that,” Tommy said with a grin. “Guess what?”

“What?” 

“I love you.” 

Nikki blushed. “You are so stupid and sappy sometimes,” he laughed. “And guess what?”

“What?”

“I love you back.” 

“You two are  _ nauseating,”  _ Athena teased as she grabbed a drink from the fridge. 

“I didn’t know you were staying out all night, I got worried!” Kayla said when Nikki got back to the apartment the next morning. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve called,” Nikki apologized. “I was with Tommy.” 

“Things are pretty serious with you two now, huh?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Nikki admitted. “And uh… there was something I kind of wanted to talk to you about.” 

“You’re not leaving us, are you?” she asked with a laugh, but her face turned morose when Nikki didn’t say no. 

He sat down on the couch with Kayla and told her about everything going on. He came clean about thinking of cleaning up his act and getting out of the street life to start a normal life with Tommy. “I wouldn’t be considering all this if he didn’t mean the world to me,” Nikki insisted. 

Kayla nodded slowly, attempting to take it all in. “Wow,” she said. “I uh… I don’t really know what to say.” 

“Please don’t hate me,” Nikki begged. 

“Nikki, come on, I don’t hate you and I could never. I just sort of always thought we’d be with each other, you know? For so long it’s been me, you and Aidan, and I just never thought that would change…” 

“Me either,” Nikki said. “And I’m really sorry. I really just don’t want to miss a chance to be with someone as great as Tommy. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” 

“I know, I’ve never seen you this crazy about someone,” Kayla said. “Look, I guess I understand. If I was you, I’d probably want to do the same thing. And I don't wanna cheat you out of happiness, man.” 

“You really mean that?” he asked. 

“Of course. Family supports family. I’ll always want you to do what’s best for you. As much as I’ll miss you like hell if you leave, I’ll be happy knowing you’re doing what you want, and that you’re safe.” She actually wiped a tear from her eye. “God, I’ll miss you.” 

Nikki couldn’t hold back his tears, either. “I’ll miss you guys so much, Kayla.” He pulled her into a hug. “But thank you so, so much for always having my back.” 

“I love you, man.” 

“I love you too.” He let go of her and wiped his eyes. “I hope Aidan will be as understanding as you when I tell him.” 

“You know him, he’s a little bit of a drama queen,” Kayla said. “But you’ll have to tell him sooner or later. He’ll be home later tonight.” 

“Fuck, okay. I’m really not looking forward to it.” 

“Hey man, I wish you the best. But no matter what happens, Aidan and I will be okay. I promise you that. You just keep moving forward.” 


End file.
